All people experience traumatic events during their lives.
Maybe you grew up in a dysfunctional family environment where you had a narcissistic or alcoholic parent. Perhaps you were bullied as a child or adolescent and it contributes to your current depression. Maybe you work in a toxic work environment. Or maybe you have experienced a loss of a parent, a child, or an entire family through a divorce or an abusive relationship. Regardless of the event, emotional trauma is often present in the aftermath. Unfortunately, the adage “time heals all wounds” is not always true and people find themselves with symptoms of emotional trauma.
What is emotional trauma?
Emotional trauma can be hidden from view, often unrecognized. For example, it is not obvious like physical abuse. Emotional trauma can be related to psychological trauma: the emotional wounds that you carry related to your experiences. It can be a result of being verbally abused, put down, or a victim of gaslighting or undermining. Your symptoms may give you a guide to what needs healing. You may notice symptoms that “appear” in your life like feeling sad, irritable, anxious or on edge, isolating behavior, low self-esteem, lethargy, or aggressive behavior. Often, people who have previous unhealed emotional wounds will feel like they are reliving the traumatic event and will avoid anything that reminds them of the event. Others have nightmares or may startle easily. You may be aware that you are feeling or behaving differently. Often, loved ones will let you know that “you haven’t been yourself” since your brother died. They may tell you that you are not acting like yourself lately, and lately is turning into months, even years.
Many people can process the trauma and see it from a more positive perspective through counseling, social support, or the support of the community like a spiritual congregation. Unfortunately, for many, previous “hard times” stay with them and emerge later in life. If you have any of the symptoms mentioned, please know it is a natural and normal way that your body is telling you that something needs healing. Just like a car that has its indicator like blinking to take it to the shop, your indicator lights may manifest as symptoms that may become more and more difficult to manage and affect your social and work life. Thankfully, several ways can help you through this process and help you feel better.
How to Feel Better
First, talking through events with a counselor and processing events can help you feel better and reduce symptoms. Second, education on your symptoms helps normalize your behaviors and feelings. For example, what are the statistics, and how many other people have your symptoms? How many people have lived through a similar childhood or event in life? Do you have a predisposition for emotional trauma or PTSD based on your past or childhood? Do you have layers of trauma that need sorting through? What are the parts of your brain that are affected (neuroscience)? These are several areas to consider.
Further, various coping skills and your strengths should be explored. Do you have an exercise regimen? Do you pray, meditate, or talk about your issues with close friends or family? Other coping skills that may help include distraction techniques, identifying triggers, and using alternative coping skills such as meditation, yoga, and other cognitive behavioral techniques that your counselor can discuss with you.
Finally, other strategies can be used such as EMDR which helps “unfreeze” events that are frozen in time and will help you see the situation in a more positive light. I use a combination of all of these techniques while considering the individual history and needs of my client. Please see my services provided website for details on this therapy.
Just as the photo depicts the baggage you have been carrying (represented by the balloons) can be released through work with your counselor. You can free yourself from your past and learn the lessons you need to learn so you don’t repeat patterns. This helps raise consciousness and self-awareness about yourself and others. Then you may be able to see your past in a more positive light and find meaning in all experiences and find the silver lining. It is my hope you learn and grow from your experiences and not stay “stuck in your symptoms” like bitterness, chronic sadness, or despair. Healing does not mean the damage never happened, it means the damage no longer controls our lives. You can grow and become more resilient as a result of your more challenging experiences.
